Leaving You Behind
by claihm solais
Summary: During the first movie Affections Reaching Across Time, InuYasha and Kagome's thoughts as she is about to shoot him against the God Tree.
1. Kagome

Leaving You Behind

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha! Really, I don't!

Summary: Inu-Yasha and Kagome's thoughts as she is about to shoot him against the God Tree in the movie "Affections Reaching Across Time"

Part One: Kagome

I can't feel my body, the spell Menomaru has put me under is too strong for me to break. I can see, hear, feel everything with absolute clarity, but I'm powerless to stop myself. I watch as my hands raise before me, a bow and arrow magically forming from a discarded branch, I watch as my hands aim it at Inu-Yasha. They aren't even shaking.

I wan't to scream, to yell, to kill the demon who did this to us, who brought this nightmare upon us. But all that comes out is a strangled plea. "Please...get away from me, Inu-Yasha." It is barely a whisper, but he hears it, and looks up from where he is half leaning and half crouching against the God Tree.

He look straight at me, his amber gaze seeming to pierce straight through my soul and heart, and he knows I'm not in control.  
I see the hurt look on his face, and realize that if this is a nightmare for me, it is hell to him. Here I am, in the exact same spot, wearing the exact same clothes as Kikyo did fifty years ago, about to do the exact same thing.

But I stare into his eyes, and I see no hurt, no betrayal, but hope, friendship, and determination. If I could, I would have broken down crying. But I can't. I know he isn't seeing me standing here, he is seeing Kikyo. And in that moment, I want to die. I want to vanish from the face of the Earth, and I curse myself for doing this to him...for not being strong enough to resist the spell that controls me. I hate myself for doing this to him.

He slowly rises, an inch at a time, until he is leaning against the tree. His jaw is set, and his stubborness apparent in his defiant posture. Proud to the last...I choke at the thought. He knows I can't control my body, knows that I will be made to fire the arrow. And he isn't running away. He stands there, opposing me with every last ounce of strength he has.

Refusing to give up.

Refusing to run away.

I beg him once more to run, but he stares at me, before speaking softly. "Not this time. I won't leave you behind, Kagome.  
I'm not leaving without you." And he stands, defiant and proud. I cannot avert my eyes as my hands release the arrow, watching it unflinchingly as it traverses the distance in a heartbeat.

He doesn't shout in pain, doesn't make a sound, when it hits him. He falls back against the tree and his eyes slowly close.  
I scream in rage, frustration, fear, grief. I scream at the injustice of it all. Anger and hatred blast through my soul,  
a red-hot firestorm of emotion. And for the first time in my life I truly hate someone.

I feel the mental barriers keeping me locked up in my own mind weaken and shatter, and the moment I regain control I rush over to his prone body. What have I done...

I lift his head into my lap, hoping against hope that he is still alive, crying out his name. I don't know if I can go on without him. In an instant, my memories of our time together flash through my head. His cocky, arrogant grin as he defeats a demon, the sad look he always has when thinking about Kikyo, the contemplation in his eyes as he lays among the stars at night when he thinks no one is watching.

And I realize I can't let it end like this. 


	2. InuYasha

Part Two: Inu-Yasha

I lean against the God Tree. A little rest would be nice...not that I'm exhausted, but those wounds are taking their toll on me. Kagome - no, Menomaru - certainly did a number on me. I refuse to believe for a second that that's Kagome. I know she's under a spell. I know she's fighting it with all her heart and soul. I know she doesn't want this.

And that is why I won't run away. I've had my fill of running away. Myoga keeps telling me to do it, now Kagome is begging me to run away. And leave her behind.

Fat chance. For once in my life I'm gonna do something right. I know she's in there fighting. And I will not let her fight alone. Her whisper carries through the wind..."Please...get away from me, Inu-Yasha." I see unshed tears in her eyes and I can see her soul through the spell. My vision blacks out and for a moment I see Kikyo standing there, bow in hand.

Talk about deja vu. That time, I could only stare in shock. But this time, I know what's going to happen. I know she's going to shoot. That spell is too powerful for her. But still, she's fighting it.

So, can I do any less?

I slowly, carefully rise, bracing myself against the tree's trunk until I'm somewhat standing, and stare straigh at her. It's almost as if I can see her soul from over her, I can see the raw emotion, the hurt that is tormenting her.

But strangely, I'm at peace. I feel no anger, no rant about the injustice of it all comes to me, just regret that it has to end like this. But I'm not willing to turn my back on Kagome, not after I did run away from so many things...

The demons of my childhood. The teasings, the insults. Even Sesshoumaru. Those demons more powerful than me, Naraku. I'm always running.

Not this time. Kagome means too much to me. That thought surprises me, yet at the same time it doesn't. She repeats her plea for me to leave and run away, but I stay. "Not this time. I won't leave you behind, Kagome. I'm not leaving without you."

And it's the truth. I won't leave her behind. Ever. She's become too important to me. Not just because she can sense the shards of the Shikon no Tama, but because of who she is. She made me live again, feel again. I won't turn my back on her.

Even if it means dying.

I stand, forcing every muscle in my body to react and forcing myself to remain upright. I know she's still fighting it,  
and I cling to the hope that some miracle will happen, that the spell will break, that she'll win, even though I know that's not going to happen.

But I refuse to run away from her.

I refuse to give up on her.

I refuse to leave her behind.

So. This is the end. She releases the arrow, and I see it crawling towards me in slow motion. I know she's going to hit her mark. She has become much better at archery since she first came. Now, she can almost rival Kikyo in her mastery of the bow.  
I smile a bit as I realize I'm proud. She has been thrown into another time, a far more dangerous time than her own, one that is alien to her, where death awaits around every corner.

And yet she refused to leave for home, refused to not take responsibility for her actions. Refused to run away.

In a way, I admired her back then. But now, it's far more.

Then comes the blackness.

----------------------

OWARI 


End file.
